REVIEW: Alchemist Heady Topper

TL;DR summary: Don’t buy the hype, or the beer. 

Beer style: DIPA

ABV: 8%

What I paid: took it in trade

How it came (packaging): 1 16oz can (they come in four packs)

Brewery link: http://alchemistbeer.com/

About the Beer: Heady Topper is highly sought after and highly rated on the beer sites. It comes from Alchemist, a small Vermont brewery. You can only get it in liquor stores in three towns, and you have to stand outside in line and wait for the delivery truck while hipsters sneer at you in disdain. Alchemist apparently makes other beers as well, but they’re irregular batches generally sold at “pop ups” and are therefore even more obnoxiously difficult to obtain. If you do come into possession of this hoppy wonder, know that the brewers and their hipster cult expect you to drink it instantly so as to avoid missing the apparently narrow window of peak freshness. Also, they want you to drink from the can. To avoid having to wash a glass, I guess.

Color/appearance: thick white head, straw colored, hazy

Aroma: pine, citrus, hints of spice

Mouth feel: light bodied, a bit greasy, astringent burn

Flavor: bitter, like sucking on a hop pellet. Bitter finish. Citrus notes peek in here and there.

Notes: yo dawg, we heard you like hops, so we put some hops in your hops and called it beer. Incredibly bitter. Why would you do this to yourself on purpose? Why is this beer so highly rated? Seriously though, underneath all the hipster angst bitterness, and the hop bitterness that they added in, there is the base of a good beer lurking. You just can barely taste it. I’m going to try to finish the can. Terrible.

Summary: Before I go into my own thoughts I’d like to direct your attention to this painfully relevant article: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/fishdog-river-brewing-co-s-ultimate-i-p-a With that out of the way, I have to say I just don’t get it. My guess is that this beer gets its reputation from its rarity and the army of people who judge beer quality solely on the basis of IBU count. There are many IPAs on the market that are far superior, easier to obtain, and don’t leave you with an aftertaste that brushing your teeth and rinsing with Listerine can’t kill. I would point you to Maine Beer Co., 3Floyds, and of course Stone or Dogfish Head for superior examples. If you find yourself in Vermont, do yourself a favor and skip the Heady hunt. Go take the Ben and Jerry’s tour instead. You get a free sample and there’s no hipsters silently judging you.

Rating : 1

1 – avoid

2 – if it’s the only choice, I guess

3 – a decent beer. Drinkable.

4 – good beer – hard to turn down

5 – great beer - One of my favorites, pour me another.